Wise Child

Wow, is all I can say to this video. God really spoke so clearly to this child, and it makes me wonder...are we listening when God is speaking directly to us? What is He telling you right now?

I love that my God gave His Son so I could be with Him forever. For that I am eternally grateful! :)

"Whatever you're doing"

I've heard this song quite a few times, but on Friday it resonated with me in a totally different light. It's funny the ways God can reach out to you in times you don't expect it. I'm listening to this song and the lyrics cry out to me; "It's time for healing, time to move on. It's time to fix what's been broken too long."

I've spent the past 15 years not wanting to heal, not wanting to let go. Ever since my mom and my biological father got divorced I've held that pain, that hurt, inside and didn't let it go. I went through my childhood years not ever facing it, not to mention my crazy teenage years. Anytime I would think about my biological father leaving the country I would bury those feelings in my mind and my heart. I wouldn't face them. I didn't want to feel weak or sad.

I haven't talked to my biological father since I was six years old, and anytime I would see someone else going to visit their dad (if their parents were divorced) I would get so mad inside, almost like a spitful jealousy. Though the funny thing is that I never want to see/talk to my biological father again.

I have a dad, Rick, that God intended to be my father before he was born. He's the BEST dad ever. He's been there for me through my heartaches, and through the bad times I've gone though. I've put my dad through some pretty harsh things, yet he has a continual love for me. I am so thankful that God put him into my mom's life, and made him a part of our family!

My dad helped me realize something about two weeks ago. He helped me to see that I truly never let go of my biological father leaving the country. I have always had a fear of abandonment because of it, and I've started to realize that it is affecting my relationship with my father, and it will affect my relationship with any guy that I meet.

This song (below) has helped me to see that I need to let go and let God work in my heart. It's time for the healing to begin.

If there is one thing I could say to my biological father it would be this..."Thank you for leaving me. Thank you for giving me away. Thank you for never coming back." I am thankful that he left the country, I am thankful that he left my family, and I am thankful that he never came back. I don't even want to think about the person I would be if he was my father, and I am so glad that I never have to think about that.

I have the best father in the world, and for that I am eternally grateful to God.

Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly) lyrics

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

[Chorus]
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

[Chorus]

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

Life comes at you fast..

...wow, so it's August 29th already? I'm about to finish the first week of my last year in college. It's crazy to know that it's already this close to being over!

It's crazy to look back where I've been and what has changed in my life. Three years ago I was so far away from God, at that point in my life I was truly questioning His existence. And now, I can't believe I ever questioned that! Granted it was the things I went through and the situations that God put me in that lead me to Him over two years ago, but it's crazy to see where I am now!

I see my old self in some of these new freshman that I see walking around campus, or getting ready to go to some party. I cannot believe that was me once upon a time. I love where I am now, and the knowledge I have gained from the experiences that I have gone through. There are times where I want to regret the decisions I've made, but at the same time if it weren't for those poor decisions then I can't say that I would know God today. I feel like I was lead to God because of the situations I was going through. The Bible talks about the fact that God uses every situation for His glory, and in my case He used my poor decisions and my troubles to eventually lead me to breaking down and crying out for Him and realizing that He had been there all along!!

Have you cried out? I promise you He's listening! :)


<>< All for HIM.

Summer is coming to an end...

...wow, I still cannot believe it's already August!

And with that being said, today I start moving things to campus. I start RA training here in about 6 hours! It's crazy to think that this time next year I will be working at my first "real" job. My, how time flies!

Yesterday was my last day at my summer job. I was an intern for a property management company downtown. What a great opportunity that was! I'm really excited to see where God is going to guide me next summer. There are so many things that I would love to do; I just have to find out what it is that HE wants me to do! I know whatever it is God has planned it's going to be amazing (Jeremiah 29)!! :)

I'm really excited for this year. There are so many wonderful things that have happened over the course of the past few months. I have made some pretty amazing friendships, made some pretty awesome memories, and had some wonderful times with my family! God has been SOOOOOOO great to me, and I can't wait to see what is next!

I thank all of you for being there for me when I have needed you! God bless you all!


For Him. <><

I love it when God makes connections in my life.

I've been going through some things recently dealing with past issues about my biological father and the lack of trust that occasionally creeps up on me in relationships. And something that has been ever-present recently is the need to REALLY give it up to God. I can say the phrase "let go, and let GOD," but how is that going to work unless I REALLY let go? How can God make something good come out of the pain that I have to deal with, if I'm NOT dealing with it? If I'm not fully letting go?

I was at Bible study tonight, and Matt brought up a good verse that is an important one to me where I am right now. Matthew 11: 28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdend, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is ligt."

How can we truly see the changes in our lives unless we are picking up HIS yoke each day instead of our own?

I love the idea of God's love, and I pray that I continue to develop a better understanding of His love. And not so much just an understanding, but truly grasping it with all my heart.

I need to continue going back to the map...

Glory to God!!!

God is like...

I got this from a friend...

God is like.
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

God is like.
a FORD
He's got a better idea.

God is like.
COKE
He's the real thing.

God is like.
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

God is like.
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

God is like.
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

God is like.
SEARS
He has everything.

God is like.
ALKA-SELTZER
Try Him, you'll like Him

God is like.
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see Him, but you know He's there.

God is like.
DELTA
He's ready when you are.

God is like.
ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.

God is like.
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.

God is like.
DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?

God is like.
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.

God is like.
Chevrolet. .the heart beat of America

God is like
Maxwell house. .
Good to the very last drop

God is like.
Bounty . . .
He is the quicker picker upper. . can handle the tough jobs. and He won't fall apart on you

Pretty amazing how ever-present God is in our daily lives....even ADVERTISING! :)

What is in a moment?

To follow Him is to experience, to explore, to discover.

"The most important moments rarely come at a convenient time. Sometimes you wish that God would check your calendar first. The ironic part is that our schedules get packed with the mundane and ordinary, and we become irritated with God when He interrupts us with the miraculous and extraordinary."

Erwin Raphael McManus, Chasing Daylight

Why are we like this? We always want something amazing, something wonderful, something adventurous to happen to us, but as soon as God throws it our way we get frustrated and annoyed that our everyday life was interrupted. I mean, I think that our Father has the right to intervene if He wants! He is looking out for the good, and to help you fulfill your purpose in Him.

"The Jonathan Factor is the explosive result that occurs when we step into a divine moment and unleash its full potential."

When was the last time you unleashed the full potential of watching the sunrise, or watching the way people love? One of those moments for me was when I was teaching Sunday school and one of the little girls, C, runs up to her friend who showed up, L, and hugs her for a really long time. To see that pure look of excitement in their faces when they saw each other really shows how much pure and full love they have for one another. Though they many not know the extent of God's love for them and others they understood their love in that moment, which is definitely a Godly love. It's incredible.

I'll leave you with one more quote by Erwin Raphael McManus -

"Life is the sum total of what you do with the moments given to you...contained within the concept of a moment is its potential for eternal ramifications."

Summer time

Wow, so the first week of July is already over..it's unbelievable how quickly time flies by.

I'm moving out in less than five weeks; it's weird. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm really excited to move to campus and be a RA, but at the same time I enjoy so much being able to be around my family all the time. Not to mention I only live seven minutes away from my church! I'll still be home every Sunday for church, and I'm sure I'll be hope at least once more than that (I hope!), but it's definitely going to be an adjustment. I've started getting miscellaneous things together (bedding, boxes, etc) this weekend. I spend five hours organizing things yesterday, and for those of you who know me well it was a rather pleasing afternoon!!

I've really taken the time this summer to spend as much time with my family as humanly possible, and I've enjoyed it so much. I mean, I work downtown every day and I get home around 6/6:30 every day so the only time I get to spend with my family is after that or on the weekends. I've made the most of it. But I've also tried to remember that I need some me time too!

This summer I did one thing that I've been promising myself for the past year : play more tennis!!!! I've taken lessons for the past 4 weeks, and have another three weeks to go! I'm really excited. I feel like my strokes/serves have improved, and I"m rather pleased. I really thank God for giving me the patience to practice hard and be committed to learning more about the sport. I love it!

I'm finally making my trip to visit Rach in about two weeks! I'm really excited about this trip. I believe we are spending a day in Galveston (the beach!!!!), and going to an outdoor concert. I'm excited to have some "away-from-Plano" time with my best friend!

However, the same day I leave for Houston my dad has surgery. Please pray that everything goes smoothly. Please pray that the doctors don't find anything wrong with his arm as they take the cyst out. I'm not worried; more so just concerned. I know God will protect him, as He is our Protector!

My sister (Caryn) moved back home this past month. I'm really glad she and Austin decided to move back home, I just really hope I get to see more of her. I've really missed her these past couple of years, and there is so much I want to share with her!! She's the one that took the picture above!

Here comes yet another week..

I pray that we all cherish the time God gives us with the people we love. Make the most of every moment.


KMF

God is incredible.

You know...sometimes I sit here, and wonder about life. How do we know what we are really called to do? How do we know if we are living the dream that God planned for us? There is so much in my life that I wanted to do differently, and when I look back now and see where I have been and where I am now it's amazing. TO be able to stand here and express the love to others I have for Christ, and yet be a new person aside from who I was when I was 18 is amazing. It's amazing to begin to understand how much love God has for me, and for all of us. I mean, for those of you who knew me in high school and my first semester of college, I wasn't the best person. I was selfish, shallow, rude, and so much more. I was such a person of this world. And then, I remeber who I've become and it's incredible. To know that God changed my life so much brings me to tears. It leaves me hope to know that if He can turn someone into something so much stronger, and so much more full of pure joy then He truly can do anything.

God is incredible. God is love. God is everything we could never imagine and more. God is the beginning and the end.

You never know how short your time is..

We had to put my dog down today. He suffered over 12 seizures in less than 24 hours. The vets thought he had a brain tumor, and there really wasn't much they could do. As the 24 hours went by he got progressively worse. You know something is wrong when your amazingly-strong pitbull becomes....not so strong over night.

It was more sad to see him go than I could have ever imagined. I never thought it would hurt this bad.

With this I have taken one thing away from it all. We take so much for granted, and we don't even realize it. All the days he greeted me with love and kisses, and I was too busy to notice. Why is it that we have to always be so busy to not notice the little things? Today it was nice, I got home and laid on the floor with him until it was time to go. I think that is one of the best memories I can have, other than the time he bulldozed me in the hallway when I was ten!

He was such a blessing to my family and I. He was definitely a Godsend. This experience has given me the opportunity to grow to understand that life is too short. Say I love you as often as you can. Mend your old friendships, and be there for the ones you love. Spend as much time as you can with your family and your friends. Because when it all boils down, all life is about is having intimate friendships. We are called to have a wonderfully fulfilling relationship with our Lord and Savior, as we are to have these amazing relationships with our neighbors.

Love everyone.

I would appreciate prayers for my family and this difficult time. I know letting him go was best for him, at least he isn't in pain any more.

I hope that, for those of you, who think pitbulls are terrible dogs realize that this was an AMAZING pitbull. He was full of more love than ANYONE I have ever know, other than Jesus. He was the first one to greet me when I walked in the door, and always there to say goodbye. All he ever wanted to do was get a little love and snuggle as often as he could. I just wish I would have snuggled with him more often.


I hope you walk away having learned something.

Looking back on LeaderShape 2008

Wow! What an experience of a lifetime. I just finished my junior year, but it was my first year at SMU. We spent six days learning about the core values of leadership, but I felt like I walked away from this conference knowing more about myself and the people around me.

This leadership conference really helped me begin to develop a sense of community with other students on campus. Not to mention having the opportunity to meet other students from DCCCD and UTA!


This experience helped me to really dig deep into the things that I value and things that I wish to change about myself. We had sessions where we met as a whole group (50+ students) and then we had sessions where we broke away into family clusters. The family clusters gave us the opportunity to share a little more about ourselves and our lives in a more intimate setting. I learned so much from the people in my family cluster; it was incredible.

I had no idea that I was going to learn so much in such a short time! Not only were we able to learn different values and aspects of leadership, but we formed friendships that will last a lifetime.

We've only been back from LeaderShape for just over two weeks, and we've already had a get-together with those of us who are in the DFW area for the summer. We all meet for bowling this past Friday in Addison.




The people I met at LeaderShape gave such a lasting impression of inspiration to achieve what I want to. It's nice to realize that I was surrounded by people who possess a true passion for making a difference in the world and in the future.

I would highly encourage anyone who is contemplating going to go for it! I learned/took away more than I could have ever imagined. It was such a wonderful opportunity!



TEAM INFINITY YOU KNOW!

How are you living?

Ceasar Moncada of Verizon was a guest speaker at the LeaderShape Conference this year.

I wanted to share something he spoke about when talking about how he defines leadership.

He said that leadership doesn't consist on the basis of what you know and the things you can do, but more so on your values and your self being.

It was really eye opening to hear him speak about a leader and even just an every day person needing to take a step back and a step out of the situation you are in and look in and evaluate it. Are you really acting the way you wanted to? Are you living up to your own expectations? Are your values showing through what you do on a daily basis?

I have never had anyone mention the need to evaluate your own actions. I know it's essential to have accountability partners to help give you guidance and feedback, but never did I think about the need to look inward in my everyday life.

I know from a spiritual context I do look inward and see if I am truly living a Christ-like life, but I guess I never applied that to my everyday little actions.

But it makes total sense.

Whether you believe in the God Almighty or not, I think everyone needs to see if they are living up to their ideal values.


How are you living?

Be...

ONE THING THAT EVERYONE MUST DO:


Be passionate about ANYTHING.




End of story.

I really enjoyed blogging this semester, and I hope to continue to do so from now on. Let's see how it goes!

There is a time for everything...

..and it was not my time for Creative Method.

You know, at first I was a little upset. This was something I have wanted for a really long time, and I blew it. I honestly thought I did a good job with my application, but there is nothing I can do about it. If I wasn't meant to be in Method Creative then I wasn't meant to be in it. My friend Erika emailed me a verse about the whole situation:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for everything under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace." -- Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

There is a time for everything. I need to keep this in mind.

It's beautiful.

After my final class of the semester was over todayI went to a picnic with some friends. It was really nice. We had snacks, hung out, and played Frisbee and passed the football.

I think this was honestly the first time I have really stepped out and actually noticed the beauty that SMU has. Of course it's nothing like being at the beach, but just having the opportunity to be outside with wonderful friends was a great time.

I cannot wait to be living here next year.

This rubs me the wrong way..

..when people assume stuff.

I mean, I get it. I go to a pretty good school that is way too expensive. That does NOT automatically mean that mommy and daddy are paying for everything.

NEWSFLASH: not all of us drive brand new mercedes or lexus cars, or can spend mommy and daddy's money like it's their own, and some of us are even PAYING FOR SCHOOL THEMSELVES.

Fine, maybe I shouldn't let it get to me, but I hate it when people AUTOMATICALLY assume crap like this. I went to this school because they have a great advertising program, not because I could afford it. I'm at this school because I busted my butt in community college and got pretty decent scholarships. I'm at this school because I work hard every semester/summer/break saving money to pay for the tuition.

It just really pisses me off when I run into people who are shocked that I have a job or whatever else is NOT like them. If there is one thing about SMU that I don't like it is the stereotype. But at the same time, I am very thankful and blessed to be at this school, I just wish people were more open minded about stuff like this.

My summer to-do list..

..consists of several things.

!) The internship that I find out about soon (I REALLY want this!) - or a different full-time job.
!) I have 15 books on my reading list and another 5 that I want to buy after the 10!
!) Spend more time outside.
!) Cherish my time with my family.
!) Find out what I want to do after I graduate.
!) Look at grad schools and portfolio schools.
!) Spend at least 20 minutes every day drawing. (I'm getting so much better).
!) Sleep! :)
!) Plan a couple of mini-road trips with my best friends.


I realized something today, which is something that I have probably heard a million times. Let it go. When there is nothing you can do about a particular circumstance you need to let it go. I'm really good at helping others come to that realization, but I have a hard time keeping it in my heart. I'm glad I have wonderful friends who remind me about this. I really need to let the future fall into place.

All I know is that I am really excited about the semester coming to an end! I really need a break!

Fail Harder - Wieden + Kennedy

David Kennedy came to SMU today. It was really interesting to hear him talk about how their business came together after reading Where the Suckers Moon: The Life and Death of an Advertising Campaign, which is about the Subaru Campaign that Wieden+Kennedy had a while back.

This was a project that a group from their 12 program worked on. They spent almost 400 hours decorating this wall.

I think it goes to show that sometimes failure is okay. The harder you fail the better you will succeed in the long run.

running?

tWO tHOUGHTS oF tHE nIGHT:

One was brought up in a lecture during one of my psychology classes:
are you running life, or is life running you?

Another one my pastor said the toher week:

saying yes to one thing is saying no to another.



Both very true, and very brilliant. What are you saying no to?

Why pay more?

I was reading an article on NYT.com the other day about the sticker shock in the organic aisles.

I thought it was quite interesting. I definitely don't have anything against organic food (I eat some organic things), but I just think that the demand of the organic supplies is increasing the costs way to high.


They wonder why 1/3 of the U.S. is overweight. Who wants to pay over $7 for a gallon of milk? Not to mention over $4 for a loaf of bread. I mean..seriously? Eat healthy and go bankrupt, or eat enjoyably and have a couple extra lbs? I'll take the later.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that there is this "organic craze" going on in the celebrity limelight and consumers are flocking towards it like mad geese. Just a thought.